SOMEONE

Something that has always called my attention is that need us as humans have of being loved, the need of having someone by your side.

       I want someone who can give sense to all the love songs and stories, someone to fall asleep with after talking the whole night. Someone to share toughts and fears who would not get bored of listening, someone who can grab my hand and take me to the end of the world, someone I can feel protected with, and I'll feel like he's my comfort zone. 

      I want someone who could do whatever it takes for a moment of my time, someone that worries about my wellness, cares about my interest, and supports my dreams even when they seem crazy and impossible. 

     I want someone who can go shopping with me, even when its not the funniest job, who can surprise me with improvised dinners, and sees beauty when there's not. Someone that respects my space and understands when I need a time alone.

       I want someone who can laugh at my jokes even when they're not funny, who can notice my new haircut. Someone who knows me so well that with just one look can understand everything that's going through my mind. Someone who can change my tears of sadness for tears of joy, and always find a way to make me smile.

       But... what if instead of feeling that the songs make sense I'm just looking for a love who doesn't really exist? Maybe wanting to fall asleep chatting is just me trying to feel that someone wants to dedicate me some time, because I assume it matters to that someone. Maybe that wish of being grabed by the hands is a longing for the world to see me and confirm that all the nice things I said before happen. Beyond feeling protected and safe, is feeling that someone pay attention.

       Sometimes the urgency of feeling wanted, important or unreachable is so strong we confuse love with need, and the lack of affection is so heavy it can make anyone be that "SOMEONE", faking feelings, ignoring attitudes, pretending compliance, all to fulfill a social paradigm, or just satisfy the basic need of being loved. When true love should really start from inside us.

                

every rose has its torn

You smile every day for him. You cry every day for him. He makes you happy. He makes you sad. He saved you life. He ruined it also. He became your world. He became your universe. His music is your drug. He's everywhere you go. But he's nowhere you want him to be. He made you who you are. You would be a totally different person without him. He's a big part of you. Maybe he's all of you. He doesn't care you exist. It hurts you. You don't care. You act like you don't care. You fell in love with him. You didn't want it. Or maybe you do. You don't want to be hurt. You can't stop loving him. You don't know if he's the best thing that has ever happen to you, or the worst . You protect him. You love him to death. You would die for him. Everything you see reminds you of him. He taught you to dream. He taught you to follow your dreams. He became your biggest dream. You'll probably never meet him. You dream with him everyday. You just can't help yourself to think of him very second you breath. In your future he's all you can see. You care more about his happines than your own. You care more about his future than your own. Somestimes you feel that you know him more than you know yourself. You're hated and insulted for loving him. You're always defending him. He says he loves you. But he doesn't know you.. He doesn't know ANYTHING. He loves someone's else. You die. You don't hate her. You hate the fact that you're not her. You hate your life. You hate yourself. You hate your heart. Because it's to weak. You didn't want this. You didn't ask for this. You feel that your heart is stupid. You hate it. That's what hurts you the most. He's everything for you. You're nothing for him. And you'll never be. Your mind knows it. Your heart doesn't. He's hurting you. Or maybe you're hurting yourself. Who cares anyway. The fact is you feel pain all over your chest. And you kind of like it. A part of you doesn't want the pain to stop. Maybe because you love everything he does to you. When the pain starts to go away you feel totally empty. You're worst than before. You listen to his music to feel better. You want the best for him. Even if it kills you. He still doesn't know about you. He's just living his life. He's just trying to be happy. Nobody knows what's happening. Nobody can't understand anything. Not even you.

how to win your heart?

Tell me if its normal to cry every day because you didn't greet me, tell me if its normal that I don't wanna do anything else than look at you, tell me if its ok to stop living my life trying to be part of yours. What do I have to do? Do I have to stick a sign on the head that says "Hey dumb, I 'm in love with you"?  I don't wanna waste my time waiting for you to like me. I have to be prettier? Like all your silly friends, Do I have to be Smarter? To proove you I'm like you, I have to be more thin? Like a Supermodel. I'm so tired of keep feeding my dreams with you, when I know my love will not be reciprocated. You don't know how many tears I had droped for the conversations you never answer, or the greetings you never returned. Its so sad to be so in love, but only on my own, I wish you knew all I have saved here in my heart for you, how many mornings I woke up happy thinking maybe that day was the day you finally fell for me, how many stories I made in my mind, the hapiness I have everytime I see you walk by, every little thing reminds me of your face, every word you said is still rounding in my head, every single song that I've listen and made me tought of you, or the love stories I dream I might've live with you. Why can't you see we're meant for each other?
I'm not the kind of the girl that usually suffers for love, but with you is more than love, you're my half orange, Adan and I'm Eva, you're my lobster, those that always at the end go hand in hand.

My Superstar Prince Charming

My prince, I know you'll never know my name or who I am, I know you never think about me, I know I'm nothing to you,I know that if I do my best you'll never gonna notice, I know you'll never gonna love me but that doesn't change my feelings for you. I know you'll never gonna wake up thinking of me, I know at night you don't dream about me, I know you're unreachable, a dream that would never come true, But its ok, I'm happy because you're happy, not with me, or for me, I'm happy because I know you're making your dreams come true. There's so many things I wish I didn't know, like how beautiful your smile is, how sweet you are, how good you make me feel just listening to your voice, is the only one that has made me get up when I've fallen, even we're miles and miles apart you will never leave my heart, because you are in the depths of my soul, you're stuck like a tattoo on my skin.
My angel, I'll do anything for you if you ask me,you're like the coffe in the morning, the missing piece of my puzzle, you're the air I breath, I need to touch you, feel you, hug you, I need to know that you're real, I need to find you.
I don't know when you conquer my heart, you're the reason I keep singing, I hope one day I can thank you for giving me a reason to smile and make sense of my life, meanwhile, see you in my dreams my dear soul mate.

Dream came true

Hello Boy, I've been thinking about you all day, I hope you have done the same. I can't wait for your hugs and sweet kisses, I've been missing them a lot. I love how your cheeks blush when you're ashamed, I like your black hair and your brown and deep eyes, your soft hands match perfectly with mine, like they were born to be together,  Stop doing that grin when you look at me cause you're making me fall in love everytime I see it. Can't you believe you're making me draw hearts and letters in every paper?. Every morning is beautiful cause I wake up from dreaming with the best guy I've ever met, you. Can you be sweetest? when you say I'm the most beautiful girl even when I'm tired with my hair undone or my makeup wrong. We can be superheroes, rock stars or cowboys if you want it to. We can run and hide when no one can see us and I will not get tired, we can change the world to what we want. I promise I will never let you down, I promise you always gonna be the owner of my heart. There's not a thing that I wanna change of us, cause you're just amazing, you're like my dream, that one that came true.

MY EVERYTHING

I'm in love with you, I love your smile and when you laugh. You're not the kind of guy that I used to fell in love for, maybe that's why I feel you so perfect to me. Every day that pass I fell more and more, Maybe it isn't right but I can't hide my feelings. Can't stop the rain from falling, as I can't stop my heart from loving you, I have searched so many times for some love, I didn't notice it was right next to me. you got those warm and gentle arms and with each hug you give me feels like heaven. When I look into your eyes I can't stop blushing, because those eyes are the ones that take my breath away and make me loose control.

What makes you really beautiful is that you don't know how wonderfull you are, you feel like nothing but you don't even imagine that you mean everything to me. I thought I knew what love was until I met you, it was then that I knew for sure, you distract me from life even when you're not trying. I love that when I'm with you I don't have to pretend be someone else, anyone or anything, just me. I'm afraid you don't love me like I do or think of me as much as I do. I know love comes and goes but I'm hoping this love stays. In case you feel the same, don't disappoint me, don't text me nice things if I'm just gonna be a game, but most important don't tell me you love me if you're gonna make my heart fall apart. Please say it before its too late.

I can't unlove you

 I’m still thinking about you, I do it every day, every night, every hour, and every minute of my life. I don’t know why, I assume i forgot about you, as I was forgotten by you, well I guess not. Why everything keeps reminding me of you? Let’s change the simple hello, by the “Good morning princess, I love you” like you used to do, I want to go back to those days when I turn back  to see you, and you were already staring at me, when we were crazy about each other that we couldn’t be focus on the same room, NEVER, we text all day, I told you all my things. When we kiss for the first time I felt like touching the sky with my hands, I guess you feel the same, it was magic there, maybe we were not on the most romantic place or moment but it was perfect to me.

Now there’s nothing left, you don’t kiss me anymore, or talk to me. Just “hi” means a lot. You no longer see me when we’re in the same room, you don’t even text me, and you don’t look interested in me anymore. When did this happen and how we let it happen? I hear you have a new crush. Yeah, crush, because I guess that was what I meant to you, but for me you were more than that. I would never forget your laugh and the sweet face you used to do when you looked at me, I'm never gonna forget you even if I try.